Why: These are the quiet, seemingly harmless introverts who like to fight dragons on their days off. They’re humble badasses who tend to be really attractive for some reason. Like it’s weird, all the ISFJs I’ve ever met have been sex gods.
How: Bring them to a weird play that makes you uncomfortable. Look into site specific and invisible theater. Bringing an ISFP to one of those is a great start if you want to marry one. Backpacking is also a good activity as you can have adventures away from the noise of civilization which your introverted ISFP will appreciate.
Why: If you want your spouse to be the perfect zombie apocalypse teammate, you would do well to marry an ISTP. They’re good at thinking on their feet and can make quick decisions in crisis situations. They won’t be that person who breaks down and cries about how the world has been destroyed and will keep on killing zombies when everyone else has given up.
How: Don’t be boring. ISTPs thrive on excitement. It might be a good idea to do things unexpectedly to make them do what they do best which is think on their feet. For example, you could pretend to take them to a city fair but actually drive them into the wilderness in the winter with no food or water in the car until they figure out what’s wrong and you have to sleep in an ice cave or maybe kidnap their mother then fake your own death.
Why: Charming, free, spontaneous and fun. If you’re the kind of person who likes a significant other who will defend your honor to the death, you should definitely marry an ESFP.
How: Take them to an intense rock concert or something and don’t talk about philosophy or the future.
Why: ESTPs have two superpowers: mindreading, and sex. If the latter is very important to you, you may find your soulmate in an ESTP.
How: Show up at their house at five in the morning and say “Get up bitch we’re going skydiving”.